Pharisees not included?

So, Jesus didn't exclude anyone.
Then how come this? Pharisees... not included?
In our church, we've been doing a family service about once every month or six weeks for almost a year now. It was something God really spoke to us about, through people and circumstances. It is a way of creating a space for families - like our own and many others using our toddler group, etc - to 'come to church' in ways that might work for them. It was also a way of trying to integrate the various groups and activities of our church into one family, sharing together. This happens on a Sunday morning in place of our usual, more traditional, gathering (at most, once a month, I stress!).
Not long after we launched this new venture, perhaps after the first one even, a loyal friend and trusted adviser in the congregation was talking it through with us, and I said to him, "It's not for everyone." He was visibly shocked at this. It was an observation, since some members of the congregation either attended the pilot service and did not enjoy it (understatement), or boycotted altogether (and continue to do so, whenever it's family service). His shock was in that the idea of the family service was to include everyone. This is true, but we can't make people come, or make them enjoy it. The family service is open to everyone, it is designed to encompass and embrace everyone connected to our church. But... Some people will not accept that. It's ours, they'll say. For us. These other people can have their thing somewhere and sometime else. This is ours. If new people want to come along, they need to get with the programme...
This is exactly what happened with the Pharisees (and others) in the stories of Jesus, our gospels. Jesus came declaring and demonstrating the outrageous inclusiveness of God's kingdom. But some didn't like it. It's ours, they said. And if these other people want to come, they need to get with the programme. Such people had ways of (mis)understanding God and his way of doing things as being inherently theirs, belonging to and controlled by them. And so, it all had to be approved by them, measured by their criteria. Which meant they excluded many people from all of it straight off. But in trying to do that, they only succeeded in excluding themselves from what God was doing. They missed it. Missed the point. Missed the whole thing. That's why Jesus shocked a bunch of them by saying that the tax-collectors and prostitutes were getting into the kingdom of heaven ahead of these guys... (Matthew 21:31). Jesus made most of his enemies by including, not excluding. So let's remember that when we try to decide who is excluded, we're more like Jesus' enemies than like Jesus.
If we want to be included in what God is doing, we need to get with God's programme. When we try to exclude others from this, we only exclude ourselves.